By David Harley

Ah, summer. A season of overblown budgets and extravagant productions. For movie goers everywhere, this three and a half month stretch is what they have waited for all year. So as always, the prediction for this summer is: Hollywood makes oodles of money. Over these next few months, this column will be examining the phenomena of counter programming and how well it stacks up to the popcorn flick of the week.

This week: Iron Man vs. Made of Honor

My expectations for Iron Man were high, to the point where even I thought that I was setting myself up for disappointment. After all, in the most simplistic sense, this is a film about an alcoholic man flying around in a technologically enhanced trash can, blowing stuff up. I don’t read comic books so I can’t say that I really have any sort of great and in depth insight into the history of the character. I learned everything I know about Iron Man from the cartoons I watched back in the early 90’s on Saturday mornings. Imagine my surprise when I found out Iron Man had other villains besides for Mandarin and that disfigured midget that flies around with a jet pack.

I do, however, unabashedly love comic book adaptations; more specifically, super hero movies. If there ever was a premise or genre of films that had the greatest opportunity to mix social commentary, explosions and humor, it would be superhero movies.

Iron Man tells the story of Tony Stark, a wealthy industrialist who is captured by terrorists while showing off a new rocket to the U.S. military, escapes back to the U.S. and builds a defense suit, which he ultimately uses to become Iron Man. Seriously, what better way to comment on our situation in the Middle East than by having an American go on their turf and kill terrorists. Not to mention, those who profit highly from war, yet don’t take any accountability for their actions.

For the first time in a good while, for a superhero film at least, everyone puts in a good performance. My goodwill towards Iron Man, almost in its entirety, is because of Robert Downey Jr. I’m really glad to see he’s on such an epic comeback these past few years. Between Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Zodiac and this, I think he’s poised to become a very big player in Hollywood. He’s sarcastic, snarky and commands every scene he’s in. Much like when I heard Bale was cast Batman, when I heard Downey was cast as Tony Stark, I thought, “Someone read my mind.” Downey is Tony Stark. I can’t imagine anyone else playing him. I find it slightly amusing that every good role Downey has had on his comeback is playing someone who always seems to have a glass in their hand. Then again, he probably plays these characters so well because, well, he can identify with some of their character shortcomings.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges both really surprised me. Pepper Potts is basically Stark’s right hand woman. She gets his dry cleaning, sets up his appointments and shoos out the one night stands. But, in the end, the best way to explain her performance is by quoting Stark: “You’re all I got.” That relationship is perfectly portrayed through Paltrow and Downey’s chemistry, whether the conversations be awkwardly funny, business oriented or a cry for help. Bridge’s portrayal of Obadiah Stane is exactly what it needed to be: two-faced.

Let’s not forget that man who Marvel hired to direct their first entirely in-house production: Jon Favreau. If there was one movie that could prove he understood Iron Man, it would Swingers. He knows the inherent qualities of the chauvinistic male. Tony Stark is basically the Hugh Hefner of the weapons industry. He’s a playboy.

So, we’ve got good acting, a good story and competent director. There’s only one question left to be answered: Were there sufficient explosions? Yes. God yes. A lot of the action sequences were, I felt, close to the same level as X2 or Spider-Man 2. The CGI has been improved upon greatly since that first glimpse of Iron Man, where he looked like a PS2 animation. Some of it is indistinguishable from practical effects and that’s one thing I don’t say too often.

For an origin story to be this good and be this ingrained in the Marvel universe (War Machine is even given a nod), I can’t imagine the sequel to be anything short of mind blowing. Big kudos to Marvel too. This was their first film that built entirely from the ground up, without a major studio. Iron Man definitely ranks high in their canon and is the best origin film based on one of their characters.

Made of Honor is basically the exact opposite of Iron Man. It’s unfunny, unexciting and doesn’t star Robert Downey Jr. Patrick Dempsey stars as Tom, a womanizer whose whole life seems to be based around hanging out with his best friend, Hannah (Michelle Monaghan), and sleeping around with various women. Tom is in love with Hannah but doesn’t realize it until she comes back from a business trip in Scotland with Colin, her fiance. Since Tom is determined to ruin the wedding and steal the only woman he’s ever had feelings for, he takes Hannah up on her bizarre offer to be the Maid of Honor.

I think I’ve seen this film before. It was called My Best Friend’s Wedding ( Coincidently, or maybe not, Sony backed both of the films). The only difference, plot wise, is that instead of Julia Roberts trying to break up a wedding, we have McDreamy. The other difference is that Wedding at least provided me with enough humor to make it a tolerable watch, though I can’t say I’m exactly clamoring to watch it again. Made provided me with exactly one laugh: a very, very juvenile penis joke. Sometimes I just can’t help myself.

What I’m really at a loss about is that it took three writers and the director of City Slickers II to come up with a script involving every rom-com cliche and plot point known to man. You know what they say about Shakespeare and the monkeys with typewriters? Made of Honor doesn’t even need a room of them. Just one or two and box set of Friends.

I can’t see anyone buying the chemistry between Dempsey and Monaghan. I don’t understand how these two could be friends, let alone believe that there could be anything besides a one night stand going on between them. It got me thinking about Knocked Up and the completely and the polar-opposite nature of the two leads. But, in defense of that film, there was a situation that kept the two leads together. There’s nothing here.

I realize that the film wasn’t made for anyone with a male chromosome but give me something to go on. Hell, if it had been funny, it would have at least fulfilled half of the romantic comedy formula. As it stands, the film has nothing going for it, save for the possibility of a kind and merciful female audience to latch onto it.

Verdict: Out of the two films with chauvinistic male characters as their leads, it should be a no-brainer than Iron Man will win this round. Since it’s an unestablished franchise, I’m going to place it somewhere around $60-$70 million this weekend, at the least. There is a lot of good word of mouth going around for it, not to mention Paramount has done an excellent job of marketing the film and awareness is through the roof, so it does have the possibility to go much higher. In the long run, I’m placing it at around $250 million. That is, unless it breaks the $100 mark or comes close to it this weekend. Then, I’ll bump it up to around $300. Made of Honor, I think, will make respectable money for what it is. I’m going to place it around $10 this weekend, which should probably be around half of its budget. It could’ve probably done a lot better a few weeks ago or maybe sometime in the fall. But for a release date opposite Iron Man, its clearly being offered up as a sacrificial lamb.

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